


"Found"

by When_Will_I_Be_Found



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, High School, Homework, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Letters, M/M, Panic Attacks, Smoking, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23645203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/When_Will_I_Be_Found/pseuds/When_Will_I_Be_Found
Summary: "All it takes is you believeing in yourself to get where you need to be. No questions asked."
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Heidi Hansen/Jeremy Heere's Father, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	"Found"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! I know that wasnt much of a "Summary", but what would a story be when the idea of the chapter is just given to you huh?! 
> 
> Anyways Hi! Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction I am writing! I hope this chapter plays out the way it is planned. I also hope I can keep this going for as long as possible! I hope you enjoy reading my original story "Found"
> 
> This story is not on a schedule because I panic when under pressure. Anyways enough rambling, and enjoy the story!
> 
> Please note that the first chapter or two will be following the canon beginning to Dear Evan Hansen. Things will start going a bit weird after that.
> 
> Now, Enjoy!

_"Have you been writing those letters to yourself? Dear Evan Hansen, this is going to be a good day, and here's why!"_

The words scrambled through his head like a broken record on repeat. No matter how hard he tried, his letters always turned into some kind of suicide note. Staring blankly down at his cast, Evan Hansen's form bobbed up and down with the flow of the road. The boy sat silently on the bus, his headphones on his head, but not connected to his cellphone. 

_"I know! Why dont you go around today, and ask the other kids to sign your cast?! How about that?"_

And just like that, another promise was made. One that Evan Hansen couldn't guarantee going through with. Because who would want to sign the cast of some anxiety filled teen male who pins all his hope on this one girl? Evan definitely wouldnt if it wasnt for the fact that he was that anxiety filled teen male. 

"Happy first day!" Alana Beck, student council president spoke, walking away from Evan in a hurried pace. Evan tucked his sharpie back into his pocket, his right hand reaching down to fidget with the hem of his shirt. 

"Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much or do you consider that an honor?" A voice sounded from behind Evan, the hunched over male turning to face the source of the voice. It was none other than Jared the insanely obnoxious and very annoying Kleinman. 

"Wait, what? I didn't, I wasnt doing... that." He spoke a bit under his breath, the thought of any human contact at the moment making him dizzy.

"Paint me the picture!" Jared began again, wrapping his arm around Evan's shoulder. He made a sweeping motion with his hand out in front of them. "You're in your bedroom, with Zoe Murphy's Pinstagran up on your weird, off-brand cellphone-.."

"That's not what happened Jared!" Evan semi-boldly interrupted Jared before quickly turning his attention back to the floor. "I, well. I was obviously climbing a tree, and I fell!" Jared stared at Evan with disbelief but also a hint of 'yeah right.' 

"You fell out of a tree. . What are you an acorn? Oh my god!" He sweeped over in a laughing fit. Pretending to wipe imaginary tears from the corners of his eyes. "Well I was, I dont know if you know this, but I worked this summer as an apprentice park ranger at Ellison State Park. I'm sort of a tree expert now, not to brag but-" he was cut off with Jared's dead silence and disappointed glare. "Anyways, I tried to climb this forty-foot tree and well-" "You just, fell.?" Jared raised an eyebrow as Evan continued to ramble on. 

"Well except it's a funny story, because there's this solid ten minutes after I fell, when I just lay there on the ground waiting for someone to come get me. Any second now I kept telling myself. Any second now, here they come." He paused for a breath, letting Jared pipe in. 

"Did they- you know, come?" 

"You see actually that's what's funny, that's the funny part. Nobody came so I just lay there telling lies to myself while I couldn't move my arm because it was numb. And then the pain started to settle in before I finally got up and ran to the nearest building. So yeah that's uh, that's what's funny." Evan sputtered out before Jared face palmed "Jesus Christ Evan, that's not-" he stopped as his eyes caught something down the hallway. "That's not what?" Evan questioned, turning his head down the hall to lay eyes on a certain Murphy sibling. Not Zoe, because if it was Zoe, Jared would have cracked some lame joke about Evan and his sex letters, even if those letters contained nothing to do with sex at all. Evan truly didn't understand why everybody kept saying that.

"Hey Connor! Loving the new hair length, very 'School Shooter Chic!'." Jared spoke as the Murphy sibling crossed his path in the hallway, stopping to shoot a glare towards Jared. "I was joking, it was a joke-" Jared started to sputter before Connor snapped, causing Jared to flinch. 

"Yeah, no, it was funny, I'm laughing. Cant you tell?" He paused, inching towards Jared  
"What. Am I not laughing hard enough for you?!" He pushed past Jared, only to freeze again when Jared yelled something about Connor being a freak before rushing in the opposite direction. Leaving just Evan there to deal with the wrath of the Murphy sibling. "What are you looking at huh?! You have a comment about my hair too?! I'm not the freak, you're the freak!" Connor hissed, shoving Evan to the ground before disappearing to most likely skip out on school. At least, that's always what Jared always said when Connor would disappear. 

Evan had that moment of laying on the floor, awkwardly laughing to himself. He looked down at his cast, his eyes trailing past it to see an infuriated Zoe Murphy storming up to him. "Are you okay? Did my brother push you? I'm sorry, he is such a jerk!" She said holding her hand out, which Evan very heavily hesitated to take. Eventually he took her hand and she helped him up, disregarding Evan and his mega sweaty hands as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. His gaze averting to the floor. "You're Evan, right?" She asked, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're Zoe-" "What?" Zoe looked confused at him saying her name. "I mean yes I am Evan, and you're Zoe, not that I knew that, but I did know that I mean I love Jazz band. I dont love Jazz but I love Jazz band and you were in it last year and I'm sorry It's probably very annoying to ask someone their name and instead they say yours and-" he was cut off by her nervous yet awkward throat clear. "It's fine. I need to head to class, bye." She spoke walking past Evan in a hurry. Evan looked down at the floor sighing to himself at yet another failure. 

"You had the oppertunity to talk to Zoe Murphy, and you blew it, again." Evan told himself walking to the computer lab. It was the end of the school day, and he had a letter to finish writing before his therapy appointment with Dr. Sherman. Sitting down at one of the computers, Evan stared blankly at the screen. The document up was stuck on 'Dear Evan Hansen' since Evan was busy staring off into space. Snapping out of his little trance he looked back to the blank document.

_"Dear Evan Hansen,_ _Turns out it wasnt an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week, or an amazing year. Because. . . Why would it be?_

_Oh, I know, because there's Zoe. And all my hope is pinned on Zoe. Who I don't even know and who doesn't know me. But maybe if I did. Maybe if I could talk to her than maybe. . . Maybe nothing would be different at all._

_I wish everything was different, I wish I was a part of . . . Something  
I wish everything I said. . . Mattered, to anyone. I mean face it... Would anybody even notice if you just, disappeared tomorrow without a trace?"_

_Sincerely your best and dearest friend,_  
_Me._

Evan finished typing this letter. The letter that could possibly change everything. The letter that could make even the nicest person feel angry. The letter that wasn't going to be used for therapy as Evan pressed and held the backspace button that just deleted everything he just wrote out. He was about to start over before hearing a small knock at the door of the Computer lab. He looked around to see nobody was inside so the knock was being motioned for him. A wave of anxious breathing made it's way to Evan's lungs as he slowly swiveled his chair to face the spot the knock came from. 

Standing there, was the person Evan would have never expected to be there in a million years. The person was none other than Connor freaking Murphy. Evan opened his mouth to speak before he was cut off.

"Hey." Connor said stepping into the computer lab, his arms folded in front of his chest, making him look like he could slam Evan to the ground once again.

Evan froze in his tracks, his hands fidgeted with the hem of his striped blue polo shirt as he hunched his shoulders. He wanted to just disappear out of the computer lab once and for all. He quietly freaked out as he heard a chair beside him roll out from under a desk. Evan peeked up to see Connor had straddled the chair, leaning on the back just staring at Evan. "Um-" Evan began before being interrupted. 

"How did you break your arm?" Connor asked with a deadpan, causing Evan to fidget around even more. "I uh- I fell out of a tree..." Evan mumbled loud enough for Connor to hear.

"You fell out of a tree.?" Connor repeated, Evan nodded silently. "Isn't that just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard." Connor laughed to himself, stopping when he watched Evan shift uncomfortably. Connor cleared his throat, leaning back on the chair, his arms crossed across the top of the back. "Nobody's signed your cast." He made known, Evan just nodded awkwardly once more. Evan prayed that somebody or something would save him from having to bear through this mega uncomfortable conversation.

"Do you have a sharpie?" Evan looked up, shocked. "I'm sor- what?" Evan questioned, not believing what he had heard the first time around. Connor looked like he was getting impatient but he just sighed. "Give me a sharpie." Hearing him clearly this time, Evan reached into his pocket, shakily taking out his mom's black sharpie and handing it over to Connor. He winced in pain when the long haired male forcefully grabbed his arm, realizing what he had just done before loosening his grip. Connor proceeded to write his name in big obnoxious letters across one side of Evan's cast. Evan put the sharpie back in his pocket when Connor handed it back, looking at his cast. 

"Now we can both pretend that we have friends." Connor spoke Evan just nodding before standing up quickly. "I'm sorry I have uh- I have therapy and I have to walk so I gotta go." He started to walk to the door before he was stopped by Connors voice again. "Hansen." Evan turned around, silently looking up at Connor, who didnt look angry or upset with him. 

"Sorry for pushing you earlier. Today has been a pretty shitty day." Connor confessed, Evan just nodded in understanding before sputtering a goodbye and racing out the door. 

. . .

"Bye-. . ." Connor spoke, before it was just him in the computer lab, silence taking the wheel as he turned his head to the computer Evan had been using. The male went over and sat down at the desk, pressing the infamous Ctrl-Z and undoing Evan's delete. His eyes first landed on the very end of the letter.

_"I mean face it... Would anybody even notice if you just, disappeared tomorrow without a trace?_

Before Connor could read anymore he heard the principal coming down the hallway, quickly deleting the letter once more and rushing of the Computer lab. He brushed past the Principal and Computer lab teacher as he exited the school building. By that point it was only him and a couple stoners out on the steps. Connor had noticed Zoe sitting in the front seat of his car, bopping her head to music. He hadn't realized how late he had stayed until she turned the radio off, ready to spit hate speech at him. "I was talking to a friend." He spoke before she could get a word in. 

"A what?" She asked, in complete and utter disbelief. 

"A friend." He repeated himself more cold as he turned on his radio and began driving the two to their house. 

. . .

Evan had just finished therapy, he couldn't get what Connor said out of his head. 

_"Now we can pretend we both have friends."_

Apparently Connor was in the same boat as Evan was, no friends. Evan sighed to himself as he turned onto his street, hands in the pockets of his pants. He accidentally bumped into the shoulder of a kid, mouthing a quick apology before speed walking forward as he hunched over furthur. In the reality of things, Evan had no idea what hunching over would do for him. It's not like it would protect him from a car wreck, or a bullet. So what was the use? Evan had been thinking to himself as he turned into his driveway, something seemed off however. 

Evan wasnt able to point it out, until he accidentally brushed his shoulder on a foreign vehicle that was wider than normal in their driveway. "Hang on-" he mumbled to himself before taking a better look at the vehicle. He stared at the house, contemplating whether he should go in, or muster up the courage to call the cops for robbery. 

He decided against calling the cops since he would have a break down if he had to talk on a phone, and just went inside. Inside Evan was greeted with the smell of home cooked vegetable soup. His stomach growled as he realized that his mom was actually home. He peeked into the kitchen to see his mother, talking to a strange guy he had never in his life seen before. Trying to avoid conversation, Evan was about to disappear to his bedroom before he was stopped by the voice of his mom. 

"Welcome home sweetie! How was therapy?" She asked, her eyes beaming. The man turned as well, giving Evan a smile as the boy lowered his head awkwardly, focusing his attention to his mother. "It was good mom- I just have some homework I need to d-" he was cut off when his mom pulled him by the good arm to the table. "Evan I want you to meet Mr. Heere!" She chirped, Evan just lowered his head even more. Like a turtle trying to hide away in a nonexistant shell. 

Mr. Heere gave a small grin as he placed a hand on Heidi's shoulder. "Why don't we have a proper introduction over dinner when the boys are here?" He asked, Heidi just frowned looking at Evan who was tugging at the hem of his polo once again.

"Alright. Evan, we can talk more over dinner. You can go do your homework." She gave a reassuring smile, hugging her son. "I love you honey." She spoke in Evan's ear before he pulled away, disappearing into his bedroom. 

Closing the door behind him, Evan breathed heavily. He went to his bedside table, grabbing out his inhaler as he took a few puffs, trying to calm down his breathing. There was a stranger, in their house, talking to his mother. Evan started to panic once again, his breathing becoming shallow and more quick. He decided to lay down, well, more like toss himself on his bed burying his face in his pillow. 

Then everything went black. . .

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy the first of hopefully many chapters of "Found!" I was going to keep going but it is currently 4AM, and I have this thing about starting and finishing something in the same day. So yeah, more updates to come soon! Hooray!
> 
> Best~, Sam!


End file.
